My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
