So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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