Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
