Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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