i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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