and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
