Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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