even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
