Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize