please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
