Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
