my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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