my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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