went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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