he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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