the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
