About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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