she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
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Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
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The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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