I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
