Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I party with great urgency now.
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