i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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