TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
