sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
