I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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