3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
