There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
