You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How naked do you want me to be?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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