This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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