Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
