Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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