To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
