and you said cock pushups were impossible
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
