so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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