I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He felt like a one man threesome
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
