Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
