My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
