So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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