you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
and you fell through a lawn chair
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
