I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I didn't notice because vodka
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
