Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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