Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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