last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
