I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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