I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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