Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?