everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
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My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock