Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man

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  (215): and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man http://tfl.nu/boh9
  Replies (11) Good night (4044) Bad night (1507)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.

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  (586): we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path. http://tfl.nu/fhzw
  Replies (17) Good night (1037) Bad night (5174)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So gin and wine won't be happening again

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  (603): So gin and wine won't be happening again http://tfl.nu/oyej
  Replies (16) Good night (901) Bad night (3428)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  I love milkshakes.

  (210): View more from Texas

  Not the point.

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  (210): I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat. (1-210): I love milkshakes. (210): Not the point. http://tfl.nu/tb5t
  Replies (19) Good night (5272) Bad night (1416)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first

  (206): View more from Washington

  You are the luckiest man alive

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  (801): Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first (206): You are the luckiest man alive http://tfl.nu/uh0h
  Replies (16) Good night (10645) Bad night (1535)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.

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  (360): I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina. http://tfl.nu/jli8
  Replies (55) Good night (1244) Bad night (9839)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated

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  (860): Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated http://tfl.nu/83mz
  Replies (7) Good night (2097) Bad night (1728)
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  (310): View more from California

  I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?

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  (310): I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me? http://tfl.nu/lgs0
  Replies (5) Good night (2455) Bad night (655)
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  (310): View more from California

  My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?

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  (310): My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here? http://tfl.nu/bu6m
  Replies (5) Good night (2320) Bad night (561)
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  (716): View more from New York

  The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes

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  (716): The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes http://tfl.nu/9ioy
  Replies (2) Good night (1111) Bad night (335)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.

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  (+44): My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste. http://tfl.nu/tlxh
  Replies (10) Good night (587) Bad night (848)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now

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  (712): I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now http://tfl.nu/qxxb
  Replies (6) Good night (500) Bad night (712)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god

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  (781): Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god http://tfl.nu/k2hb
  Replies (7) Good night (1523) Bad night (496)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.

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  (832): I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem. http://tfl.nu/pseu
  Replies (7) Good night (448) Bad night (388)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together

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  (828): Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together http://tfl.nu/vkn9
  Replies (4) Good night (449) Bad night (267)

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