so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s