Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?

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  (616): dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us? http://tfl.nu/bgpp
  Replies (8) Good night (1464) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina

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  (773): You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina http://tfl.nu/1zwu
  Replies (2) Good night (669) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  What'd you say?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I told him I was sleep driving

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  (248): I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work. (1-248): What'd you say? (248): I told him I was sleep driving http://tfl.nu/ghd6
  Replies (3) Good night (1615) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I did the walk of shame to another booty call

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I don't think that should turn me on, but it does

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  (616): I did the walk of shame to another booty call (269): I don't think that should turn me on, but it does http://tfl.nu/0yjb
  Replies (11) Good night (2512) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'

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  (215): why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex' http://tfl.nu/kqne
  Replies (63) Good night (7102) Bad night (1380)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"

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  (858): you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?" http://tfl.nu/xq6v
  Replies (43) Good night (8805) Bad night (1492)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."

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  (215): My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.." http://tfl.nu/yyzh
  Replies (124) Good night (41497) Bad night (2964)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.

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  (775): It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/xv2l
  Replies (11) Good night (2116) Bad night (1584)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...

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  (619): She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched... http://tfl.nu/qaun
  Replies (14) Good night (1363) Bad night (3507)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.

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  (406): You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it. http://tfl.nu/4hyg
  Replies (9) Good night (1252) Bad night (2740)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.

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  (832): Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control. http://tfl.nu/bxmz
  Replies (2) Good night (1763) Bad night (1268)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with

  (509): View more from Washington

  Isn't life beautiful?

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  (360): So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with (509): Isn't life beautiful? http://tfl.nu/f406
  Replies (13) Good night (2108) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Gonna be tough to beat that next year!

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  (508): So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party. (508): Gonna be tough to beat that next year! http://tfl.nu/374f
  Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him

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  (931): ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes" (1-931): I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him http://tfl.nu/quo2
  Replies (0) Good night (552) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times

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  (603): So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times http://tfl.nu/2gsi
  Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (152)

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