They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize