i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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