Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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