so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
