your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
