At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
