So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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