But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
