nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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