i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
