Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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