My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
