People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
